A Joyful Postpartum Comes Down to Two Things (IMO)
Support and structure aren't luxuries, and they don't have to be expensive — but they do have to be intentional and thorough.
3 Takeaways from this newsletter:
Postpartum doesn't feel good by accident — it's shaped by what you put in place ahead of time
Support and structure aren't luxuries — they fundamentally change the experience
Reducing friction (even a little) is what makes it possible to be present and actually enjoy it
I don't have anything to compare my postpartum experience to. This was my first time doing it, but I have been thinking a lot about what made it feel the way it did.
Last week I shared six things I'd tell every pregnant woman to do before giving birth to set herself up for postpartum. And the more I sit with it, the more I realize those weren't just "nice to have" things. They were the difference between feeling supported and feeling overwhelmed.
The difference between postpartum feeling truly joyful and just needing to get through it.
Not in a dramatic way, but in the small, day-to-day ways that add up.
Things like having space to rest without feeling like I should be doing something else, which is not something that comes naturally for me. I'm very much a type A, keep-moving kind of person. Letting myself slow down like that has always been hard for me.
Not having to think about what to eat or how to get it. Having someone there - not constantly, but enough that I didn't feel alone in it.
It's hard to explain unless you've experienced it, but it created this underlying sense of calm. Even when things were hard (because they still are), it didn't feel chaotic.
Going from no children to one is already such a steep learning curve. Everything is new, everything takes longer, you're figuring it out in real time, and your hormones are all over the place.
Taking care of myself by allowing others to take care of me removed just enough friction that I could actually be present for it and enjoy postpartum instead of feeling like I was constantly trying to catch up.
And that didn't just happen by accident.
The more I reflect, the more I see how much of postpartum comes down to two things: support and structure.
Having the right things in place so you're not carrying everything yourself. Letting go of needing to control everything outside of the bubble with your newborn. Trusting that the support you put in place will care for you as you deserve to be cared for.
It's wild to me how often this part gets glossed over. There's so much focus on pregnancy and preparing for birth, and I understand why. Those are obviously important pieces. But what significantly contributes to shaping your experience, your nervous system, your connection with your baby, your milk supply, your long-term health, is how you're cared for in the weeks and months after your baby arrives.
I also want to say: this doesn't have to look a certain way. It doesn't have to be expensive or perfect or anything like what I described. Everyone's situation is different, and what support looks like is going to vary a lot.
But I do think there's something important in being intentional about it. Even small things - one less decision to make, one more layer of support, one area where you don't have to carry it all - can change how it feels.
If you're pregnant: what's one small thing you could put in place now that would make postpartum feel even a little more supported?
And if you're already a mom: what felt hardest for you, and what do you wish you'd had more support with?
I'd really love to hear.
Does any of this resonate with you? If you're pregnant and realizing you haven't thought this through yet, or postpartum and wishing someone had walked you through it sooner, I'd love to spend 30 minutes with you.
If you're pregnant and starting to think about what your postpartum might look like -what to put in place, where the gaps might be, how to build the kind of support that actually makes a difference - I'd love to help you map it out.
30-Minute Postpartum Planning Call - $37 - 1:1 with Dr. Jen · via Zoom
We'll look at your specific situation, talk through what's already in place, and identify the gaps that are worth closing before baby arrives.
Have a question before booking? Reply to this email — I'm here.
Warmly,
Jen
One less thing to think about.
Part of building structure is taking the decisions out of the things that matter — like what you're putting in your body while you're healing and feeding a new human. BodyBio's foundational supplements are what I leaned on postpartum: clean, minimal, and actually doing what they say they do.
If this issue resonated with you, send it to a friend who is currently pregnant. The best way to support this newsletter is by sharing it with someone in this season — or heading into it. It might be exactly what they need to read today.
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Postpartum Joy Issue #010 — A Joyful Postpartum Comes Down to Two Things
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